Ok, this time I mean it. I'm REALLY going to start blogging regularly. Tonight I had motivation. It wasn't positive motivation by any means but motivation nonetheless. Basically I need to vent. Forgive me in advance for the spelling, grammatical and every other kind of error that WILL happen throughout this post because I will be typing in a heated rage. For those of you that really know me, you know that my "heated rage" is pretty sad and barely qualifies as rage but I'll try my hardest. The second warning that I must relay is that this post may indeed be deemed as very hypocritical. I am fully aware of that. I don't mind.
So, as I was skimming through Facebook this evening, I came across a shared post. It was a link to a blog that was titled, "People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies". I couldn't even read it. I tried. I read a few lines and got the overall moral of her story and that is, that she finds it "one more thing for mom to worry about".
WOOF! That is what I have to say to all of that. I think that it is so incredibly sad when people complain about being parents. "I'm so tired", "we have sooo much going on", "the kids are being awful"...I could go on and on but I know that you know what I'm talking about and I know that you know at least one person that comes to mind.
Why do these people have children in the first place? That is the question that I really want to ask. For fear of getting answers like, "my birth control failed", I'll ask a better question. Why do these people feel that they need to belittle, make fun of and/or roll their eyes when we (we being parents that find joy in everything that is parenting) talk about an experience that we've had, a tradition that our family participates in or even just a regular day and find that it wasn't regular at all. It was an exciting adventure! Every day is. That is why I had children. Because I do love EVERYthing that is parenting. It is not a competition. I am busy creating memories for my boys and our family just like my parents did for my siblings and myself.
When I saw this blog title I wanted to scream. Literally almost did. Not because they think Elf On The Shelf is silly (fair enough) or too commercialized (I could even agree with that a little) but because they actually have an elf in their home and do participate in the tradition in a way that they feel is appropriate and still complain about the way others choose to participate! Why is it necessary to complain about what other people choose to do with their children, in their homes, making their traditions? But, to call other "mommies" (gag) "overachievers" because they choose to take it a step further and don't mind if their elves get into things, bake little surprises etc? How dare you. How dare you tell me that I have, "too much time on my hands" or that, "I am an overachiever". I am not competing for some kind of Mother Of The Year award. I happen to LOVE seeing the look on my kids faces when they wake up in the morning and go on their "elf hunt". It sets the mood for the day. I believe that it helps the kids focus on the magic of Christmas and not so much on the "I want" aspect. We aren't huge Santa people and I can assure you that I have NEVER used the elf as a "you better be good" ploy. We do an Advent calendar too and every night when they open their date on the calender, we say a prayer together and thank God for something that they are each thankful for or feel that they have been blessed with. That is not overachieving. That is encouraging my children to be thankful to their Provider. The real Source of their blessings, especially at this time of year. I encourage them to find magic in everything they do. Why not use a Christmas elf at this time of year to help me out? I leave notes around the house randomly anyway, why not have them be from the elf? I will spend a night baking cupcakes for breakfast the next morning anyway, why not let the elf do it? We have several traditions throughout the year that we do and I hope that what my kids are taking away from them, is that life is an adventure. Sometimes even magical. We love building and baiting a leprechaun trap every year. We drive 5 miles out of our way when we see a rainbow to try to get to it and find the end. Every single time it has rained since we have lived here (that we have been home), You better believe that Zachary and Wyatt were out there in the middle of it and a short time later they were tracking mud through the house. Anytime they see a "sun sparkle" (reflection from anything shiny), they say "Hi, Tink". Guess what, cupcakes aren't that different than pancakes or french toast, you won't die if you are 5 minutes late to wherever you are supposed to be because you went on a rainbow chase and mud comes off of tile, wood and out of carpet and they are completely aware that Tink is only a cartoon and we have discussed the science behind the "sun sparkle".
I think I have a pretty firm grip on exactly who I am. Woman, mom, wife, daughter, artist, entrepreneur, and various other titles as the day requires. In that order. And that’s perfect. And that’s enough.
It seems like parent's today are always in such a hurry or just put out in general by so much of what is being a child. "It's too messy," "it's too loud", "it's too late", "it's too early". Laundry and cleaning and cooking and everything that is being an adult is just too much when paired with being a parent. You aren't an overachiever or crazy if you stay up a few hours late and find a balance that allows you to achieve both. As a parent it is what you do. You make it work. You want to make it work. You thank God that you get to wrack your brain until you find a system that successfully works.
There’s a point, I promise. I’m beginning to realize that there people out there who are positive that this isn’t a real identity. What?! Like I don’t exist? Bitches, please. Mothers who choose to be kick-ass mothers are real people, too. We just utilize our time in a different fashion. Like, we don’t waste time whining about parents who choose to take parenthood in a different direction. Ok, I am now, but I told you this could be hypocritical.
The way I see it, I was given an opportunity to do the best and most important job ever. I get to raise my sons and give them the best life possible. And I’m fortunate enough to be able to dedicate more of my time and energy to it than some. But when did this become a bad thing? Why does me being a good mom make you feel so bad?
Isn’t that the point of rants like the now-infamous “Elf on the Shelf”? You see how I’m doing exactly what you’re doing anyway, and I’m doing it better. You see the meals that would take an extra five minutes, a trip out of your way, essentially, an inconvenience for you. I see a time when I could build something with my child and create something better in our worlds. I never said you had to! So this sad little jealousy and bullying thing you have going? You started it, and you’re doing it wrong.
We all want to do great things. Mine is being a mom. If I mess this up, I’ve failed life. Literally. So, yes. I look like an idiot dancing through the aisles of the grocery store when my kid sings Elvis. I still go on slides that are too small for my ass because I remember that it’s more fun to play with a friend. I don’t carry the hottest clutch because I have to have fruit snacks, Neosporin, a comic book, and my Kindle everywhere I go. Or even better, maybe I do still have the hottest clutch and don't leave my house without mascara, lip gloss and NEVER in sweats. Is that a bad thing? No! But why do you think so?
So that’s my “identity”. And if “that really over the top mom” is how I’m known, awesome. Because in 15 years, my kids are going to be out of my house, living fantastic lives, romancing their girlfriends with stories of “Tink” in the puddles on a rainy drive. And all of you “mommie” haters? I won’t be lost... I’ll be happy that my kids are happy, and making more memories of my own. Because I take care of my marriage, too... Oh, we’ll talk about that, too...later.
I am proud to say that in this house, our elves are more than welcome to build a zipline, have a marshmallow fight, watch a movie and bake whatever they choose. Color on the walls, it washes off! Cut the dog's hair. Please. I've been meaning to get around to it, it will save me the hassle! Create all the Christmas magic their little elf hearts desire and my boys and I will continue to gladly clean up the "mess" that I like to call a memory.
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